This morning my mind started to dream. I was thinking of something and I began to envision "what could be". This dream began to get bigger and bigger as I imagined where it could go. Then suddenly I stopped. I paused the whole scene in my mind. I said, "Wait a minute. Am I dreaming too big?"
I've been down a road like this before. I've had dreams. I've imagined big things. Ministries and projects and things that would have impact and be life changing. I had plans. I saw it all in my mind. There is a whole group of those dreams all corralled in my mind and they have one thing in common: they never happened. It was my own fault I'm sure. I never had the follow through or the commitment to actually do the hard work of making my dream come true. Maybe it was my own deep seated doubts in myself that made me admit defeat when I had barely even set foot on the battlefield. Whatever it was, as I sat there and dreamed this morning, it was this reality and proof from the past that came calling.
"Is it possible to dream too big?" I asked myself. "Won't this dream just be like all the others?" The others, which when exposed to the scorching sun of reality, turned to dust and were easily blown away? "What will be different this time? Why should I think this will be any different than all the rest?" The real question is, am I any different this time? Will I make this happen? (Assuming this is something God wants me to do.)
Psalm 37:23-24 says:
The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
I think that sometimes we miss a path of greater blessing simply because we are unwilling to venture outside of the well worn ruts of our daily lives. Can we be something greater? Can we do greater things? Can we dream bigger... and then can we make those dreams happen?
I am not discounting the grace and hand of God. It is not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord. We are his instruments. He breathes into us, he supplies the power and makes the music. However, we are instruments with a will. We can refuse to turn on, or to open ourselves to new music. We can choose not to believe that THAT kind of music could ever come out of us. We can assume that all we were ever made to be was something simple and plain, while God is waiting to breathe a symphony through us.
Change is scary. What if I fail? Change requires us to put our will & our strength into each step that it takes. We must choose to allow ourselves to become the instrument of God's choosing. We surrender and we say, "Here I am. God use me." Then we take the next step. God comes and supplies the strength we are lacking. He provides outcomes beyond our expectations. He provides lessons in the journey that we never knew we could learn. And all along the way he is right beside us. Holding our hand. Saying, "It's OK child. I'm here and I will never leave you."
Will my dream happen? Am I dreaming too big? I don't know. But I'm not letting go of this dream yet. It could happen. I am making the decision to open myself up to something new. I am going to try, and not be afraid of failing. I will leave the outcome to God.
Have you tried dreaming lately?
Happy New Year!