Living in the "in Between"

Each person's story and the struggles they face are unique.  I have faced my share throughout my life, and I continue to wrestle with situations and circumstances beyond my control.  No matter what it may be: finances, illness, insecurities, self doubt, loss of relationships, loneliness, despair, lost family members, or any other battle, we all have things happen to us in life which are unexpected. Things which hit us and completely blindside us.  We look at our lives and we say, "This is not what I expected my life to look like."

We will face struggles in life.  Jesus told us, "in this world you WILL have many troubles..."  But thankfully he didn't stop there!  (How depressing would that be?)  He went on to say, "But take heart!  For I have overcome the world!"  Even before he had gone to the cross and won the ultimate victory, Jesus prophesied and said, "I have overcome the world" and because he overcame, we can overcome too, because he has brought us into his family and we now share in his victory!

You may not feel victorious right now.  You may be, as I believe many of us are, in the place I call the "in between."  You are in between "your need" and "your miracle."  You've come face to face with your need, and you are believing for (or you want believe for) your miracle. You are in that place of tension as you long to be at your destination, but can't yet see it on the horizon.

There is a song by Elevation Worship called, "Here Again," and it is a powerful song.  God showed me something about these lyrics:

Can't go back to the beginning.  Can't control what tomorrow will bring.  But I know here in the middle, is the place where you promise to be.  ...

Not for a minute, was I forsaken, the Lord is in this place...  Come Holy Spirit, dry bones awaken, the Lord is in this place...

Previously, when I heard the refrain, "The Lord is in this place" I thought of the beauty of corporate worship: as we gather together, he has promised to be in our midst.  But God pointed out to me, no, those two lines go together:  I was not forsaken - the Lord is in THIS place.  This place of waiting, this place in the middle, this is exactly where the Lord is.  He is right here with me, right here in this place!

God is in the place of waiting!   I wrote a whole blog post about the Sacredness of Waiting.  The waiting place is a sacred and holy place because God is there.  Bethel also has a song called, "Take Courage."  The lyrics say:

Take courage my heart.  Stay steadfast my soul.  He's in the waiting.
Hold on to your hope, as your triumph unfolds.  He's never failing.

I draw strength in the midst of trials from my faith and the confidence I have in God.  Faith is like a muscle.  As you exercise it, it gets stronger.  Every time I choose to believe, I "flex" my faith.  My faith becomes stronger.  The more you practice this, the more faith and belief becomes a habit.  I want to be very clear about something:  I don't have the ability to choose to believe in God because my faith is stronger- my faith is stronger because I choose to believe!

"Faith doesn't deny a problem's existence.  It denies it a place of influence."  (Bill Johnson)

I choose to take a stand of faith when I am faced with a challenge.  I can face a situation and I will flex my faith.  I pray.  I declare God's truth over the situation.  I bind the enemy.  I release God's kingdom.  And yet... there are times when I have "gone to war" over situations over and over again, and nothing seems to change.  It is very easy to start to wonder, "Why?"  And to have thoughts like, "I've done everything I know to do God.  What else is there?"

Sometimes we have this idea that if we do the "right" things that things should just go "right" for us.  There's this feeling that sounds like, "I did everything right.  Why did things turn out so wrong?"  I want to remind you that we live in a broken world and there is an enemy who seeks to devour us and those around us.  We must remove ourselves from a place of entitlement and come to a place of submission, where we humbly come to God with everything.  Surrender everything.  Come to him with your brokenness, your anger, your bitterness, your questions, and give it all to him.

There is something beautiful and holy about a wounded, submitted heart.  There is beauty in brokenness and vulnerability.  And there is victory and freedom in submission.  It is in this place that we are able to see how God is making us and how he is using all things for our good.  He commands all things to work together for our good!

I am a different person today because of my struggles.  My struggles have turned into a gift to me!  They have made me a deeper person, with a more intimate relationship with God than I probably would have had otherwise. The harder the enemy presses in, the harder I press in to Jesus.  Having a fight has made me a fighter.

I'm not saying my struggles were God's will.  I am saying that EVERYTHING in your life can be used for good in the hands of almighty, loving God.  For many of you, the area of your greatest wound will be the area of your greatest growth!  

"Bread that is not broken cannot be shared.  In the hands of Jesus, your life becomes given.  You realize you are not here for yourself."  (Glenn Packiam)

My life is not all faith and promise. There are times of discouragement.  I wrestle with all the questions and feelings that are so common to us all.  Namely, "Am I a failure?  Did I fail?  If I had done things differently, if I had somehow been "better" would things be different?"

I have times where I am grieved so deeply that I am just weeping and broken inside.  Recently, when I was in this place, I turned on worship music.  The spirit within me rose up, and I found myself declaring out loud, through my tears:

I don't care what happens to me!  God, I choose to believe that you love me!

I don't care what happens to me!  God, I choose to believe that you are good!

I don't care what happens to me!  God, I choose to believe that you are victorious!

If my life is lacking faith, hope or joy, I know I need to cultivate more of God's Spirit within me.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control are all fruits of the Spirit (and not the only ones).  If I am lacking the fruit, then I need to cultivate what produces the fruit.  I don't try to manufacture the fruit on my own.  Think about it: if I want to produce apples, then I will need to cultivate apple trees.  The apple trees will produce the apples.  If I cultivate the Spirit of God within me, then the fruit will follow.

I cultivate God's Spirit within me by meditating on Truth.  I read the Bible (Bible apps are your friend!  They can remind you daily, and will read to you wherever you are, or whatever you are doing!).  I listen to worship music (anywhere & everywhere).  I get encouraged in church gatherings, Godly books, podcasts, etc.  Even my Instagram is filled with encouragement by following truth speakers, so I am getting injections of truth all the time!  Cultivating the Spirit does not happen by accident, but by intention.  Just as you would have to water, fertilize, prune, and otherwise attend to the cultivation of an apple tree, you must attend to cultivating the Spirit of God within you.

Pursue your breakthrough, but don't pursue Him to get to your breakthrough.  Jesus is not a "means to and end," he is everything!  For some of you, your answer has become your idol.  You are seeking your answer instead of seeking Christ.  Don't pursue Him to get to your breakthrough.  Pursue him because he is WORTHY!

I am a believer in breakthrough and a God who brings dry bones back to life again  ... but even if my prayers for breakthrough are not answered...
I will not regret a single day lived in faith instead of despair.
I will not regret a single day spent in hope instead of hopelessness.
Even if I don't get my breakthrough, a life filled with expectancy is a life of joy!  .. and much better than the alternative (bitterness).  I will not regret a single moment that I spent in prayer or worship or the Word, but I will certainly regret a lack of those things in my life. 

I will not be a victim of my circumstances, and I will not hold pity parties (well, not for long anyways...).  I've had those moments where I crumpled on the floor and wept in my sorrow and felt hopeless (emphasizing it was a feeling, and feelings LIE), but then I thought, "Wait a second.  This is EXACTLY where the devil wants me.  This is exactly what he hoped would result from this circumstance.  NO WAY am I giving him that satisfaction.  I could stay here on the floor and cry... or I could choose to get up and say, My God is gonna make a way."  I chose to stand up.  You can too.

Ephesians 6:13, after instructing us in the armor of God, tells us, "after you have done everything, stand."  If we don't give up, we win.  That's it. 

God Bless You,
Lisa