Monday, July 1, 2013

I will not be satisfied.

Right now, in this season of my life, I find myself focused almost exclusively on my family and my home.  I work part time (usually, sometimes full time) and most of the rest of my time is spent taking care of my family.  So, it's easy to understand what occupies my thoughts.  I think about my family.  My mind is active and I think about what they're going through, what I want for them, what I can do to help them, how I fail them.  All of these things go through my mind.  There is one overpowering thought that keeps pounding in my heart and it is what my heart longs for.

I will not be satisfied.  I cannot be.

I will not be satisfied with my children living a "normal" life.  We are not a "normal" family.  God has called us out and shown us amazing things.  He has used us and we have seen the great things that he can do.  My heart cries out, "Status quo just won't do!  My children were put into this family because you have something more for them!  Bring them into the fullness of your will for them.  Help them to walk in the light and full revelation of your plan and purposes for them.  I know you want to use them.  They will touch many lives.  They will be world changers."

I will not be satisfied unless my children have an amazing walk with God.  Going to church on Sundays and knowing the truth is not enough.  Being a "good" person is not acceptable.  Making choices that line up with the Word of God is only the beginning.  I expect and I declare that my children will have an amazing faith filled life.  I want them to have an amazing faith that sees the things that are not, and calls them as though they were.  I want them to have an amazing anointing on their life, that all across the pages of their life you see the echoes of Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
    for the Lord has anointed me
    to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
    and to proclaim that captives will be released
    and prisoners will be freed.
 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
    that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
    and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
You will be called priests of the Lord,
    ministers of our God.
You will feed on the treasures of the nations
    and boast in their riches.
 Instead of shame and dishonor,
    you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours.

Whatever power I may have in my life, whatever love and passion for God, whatever unwavering faith, whatever boldness, whatever wisdom... my prayer for my children is a double portion of whatever I have!  I want them to taste and see that the Lord is good.  And then once they've tasted to come back for more, and more, until they become so thirsty and desperate for him that they jump in all the way!  Holding nothing back, no reservations, all their hearts, soul, mind, and strength.  I will not be satisfied unless they have a passionate love affair with the greatest lover of all time.  I want their passion for God to be consuming.  More powerful than any pull of this world, more powerful than any fear or shame that may try to cling to them.  I pray that NOTHING will be able to cling to them because of the power of the cross so greatly at work in their lives.

I will not be satisfied unless they receive and drink deeply from the lover of their souls.  I want them to receive the love that heals every wound, silences every fear, crushes every lie, and fills every cell of their being with power and joy.  I want them to be baptized in the Daddy love of God.  I want them to know they have his full approval in every moment of every day.  I will not be satisfied unless they know this in their core.

And if I see my children falling prey to the lies and chains of this world, I will not be satisfied until they are walking in the freedom that God intended for them.  Sin will not be their master!  Money will not compete for the love of their God!  Time will not be wasted on gainless pursuits!

My prayer for them is that they would forsake everything else and leave behind everything that entangles and run with abandon the race which God has set out for them.  That they would have the faith to believe what I believe about them, that they ARE world changers.  Not that they are going to be world changers, but right now, right where they are, they ARE world changers!  I know God has placed within them everything that they need to see more than they could ever imagine.  No eye has seen, no ear has heard, what God has prepared for them.  Exceedingly, abundantly more than they could ever ask or think!

I will not be satisfied unless my children experience the real and powerful touch of God in their deepest, innermost being.  That they would know that walking with Christ is real.  That the Holy Spirit is real.  That they will experience his presence in a tangible way that would ruin them for anything "ordinary"!  That they would experience the reality of God's power.  That the hand of God would touch their innermost parts, and that like Jacob, they would never, ever be the same again because of the touch of God.

I cannot, I will not, be satisfied with anything less than this for my children.  This is the inheritance that I ask of God for my children.  How can I give them this inheritance?  Is it present in my own life?  I ask God to give me more of what I am asking for my children, so they will see it in me and hunger for more in their own lives.  But even where I fail and I fall short, I pray God makes up for what I lack.  I pray that we would be a family set apart.  In this world but not of it.  That we would stand out as "strangers" here.

This is my heart's cry for my children everyday.  Do I see it happening yet?  Like Elijah I think I see a cloud the size of a man's hand, but I believe that an outpouring of rain is coming!  I do not see the answers to my prayers yet, but I believe in the power of prayer and like the widow who would not let the judge rest until she had justice against her adversary, I will not rest this prayer.  Ever.  It is my heart's cry and it always will be.

I will not be satisfied.

In Him,

P.S. to my children:  do you believe that God listens to your mom's prayers?  Then you better get ready because God is gonna pour out all over you!