I was thinking about the disciples' perspective when Jesus fed the multitude (Matthew 14). There were thousands and thousands of people there that day, all hungry, all in need of something to eat, and the disciples were hungry too! Maybe even more so. When they came to Jesus he asked them, "What do you have?" The food they brought him (2 fish and 5 loaves) was all the food they had. It was supposed to be what would sustain them on their journey. They knew they needed it, but when Jesus asked for it, they surrendered it.
I imagine the possible anxiety they might have felt as they watched Jesus take the only food they had, and he broke it. The despair over seeing what they thought was good for them, instead be broken in front of them. Then Jesus told them to give it away. I wonder if they thought to themselves, "What good will this do? This might feed a small handful of people, but not ALL these people. Then what will we do? Will we be any better off? They will eat and we will go hungry?"
Maybe they didn't feel that way. They had watched Jesus, and all that day he had been healing people from all manner of infirmity: physical, mental, and spiritual. They had seem him assert authority over sickness and command it to leave. They had seen his word speak life and renewal into dead and dying bodies. Maybe they were filled with anticipation and excitement, wondering, "What CAN'T he do?!"
I can identify with these disciples. Either way they might have been feeling, I have felt both of those. I have felt the grief of brokenness. I have also felt the anticipation of faith as I reminded myself of how great and powerful God is and I choose to believe God is going to show up & show off!
The next thing Jesus asked the disciples to do was to serve. He took what they had, he broke it, and then he told them to go serve the people. As the disciples, perhaps grudgingly or perhaps joyfully, surrendered and obeyed and served, the supernatural took hold. The bread did not run out. The baskets of fish never became empty.
That which they thought had been taken from them, that which they thought they needed, when they surrendered it, God was able to bless it and multiply it. God multiplied back to them what they gave up, and they ended up with more than enough! They may have thought they were going to have to go without, that they were giving their food to the people and there wouldn't be any left for them, but instead God worked miraculous provision so there was so much more than what they started with! Each disciple walked away with a basketful of food.
If you feel like God has asked (or is asking) you to give up something, or someone, consider this story and remember what your God is like. He is not going to leave you without what you need. He is a good father and he will take care of you. Don't be afraid to surrender, and to serve. Don't worry if something that you thought was good has been broken in front of you, or maybe you feel like you have been broken. Remember that from places of brokenness there is multiplication. There is blessing.
Surrender to the plan of God. His ways really are greater. The disciples could have kept that food to themselves, but they would have missed out on an amazing miracle and maybe prevented those who were brought to faith in Jesus because of that miracle. Come to Jesus with open arms. All I have and all I am is yours Jesus. Take me, use me. I will trust your plan and your ways. I will not fear brokenness. I trust your miraculous provision in my life. You are good and you will do good in my life and in the lives of those I love.
God Bless You,
Lisa
