Thank you everyone for your prayers for our son Michael to get his student visa. He got it! We are so happy to know that our family is going to be able to stay together! Michael will be attending a private Christian school in our hometown. We've purchased our plane tickets now & we will all be arriving in the USA on June 1st (although me, Kelly & Michael Jr. will be on a different airline for the last half of the journey, at least we're all going at the same time).
We appreciate your continued prayers for our family and the ministry as we prepare for our departure May 31st. We have people in place here in Rwanda who will make sure the ministry continues in our absence, and we will be completing their training in the month of May. Mike will be back in Rwanda in August, with a team from AGCI coming at that time too.
A lot of changes coming up, but we know that our God is faithful and he will lead us through them.
God Bless You,
Lisa
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
We Keep Praying
We are still asking for God's help on the requests I mentioned in my last post. Most pressing right now is getting Michael Jr's student visa. He went in for an interview at the US Embassy a few weeks ago. We were trying to get him a visitor visa so he could travel earlier than 30 days before his school starts (visa regulations). They did not give him the visitor visa & told him to just reapply for his student visa.
I now have the paperwork needed in order to get him an interview for a student visa; however, when I went on their website last night to make his appointment they were showing no appointments available. I am not sure what is going on, and I have sent an email to the consular at the embassy (although they are notoriously hard to get a hold of).
Please pray with us for an appointment to open up soon! We still need to purchase plane tickets for myself, Kelly Christinah, and Michael Jr. (Kelly & I were on separate tickets from the rest of the family because of our being delayed with the adoption process last year, we had to purchase round trip tickets from Africa to the US and back again. So, now we need new tickets to get to the US.) Please also pray for us to have the finances needed to purchase these tickets, for us to find low priced tickets, and to get home at the same time as the rest of the family.
As I pray about the visa Michael Jr. needs I am reminded a lot of my prayers at this same time last year. Last year we were praying and believing for God to help us finalize Kelly's adoption; similar to how we are praying, hoping, believing for Michael to get his visa. Posts like this one from last year when we were praying for God to make a way. I remember praying so many times, "God, can't we just have an answer now? Can't it just be finished so we can be settled in our hearts & know that it's done?" And now, again, I have those same prayers in my heart. I just want Michael's visa to be done & settled. But, at least for now, we are still in a journey to get there. God is leading, and we trust him, but I can't help calling from the backseat, "Are we there yet?"
Thank you for praying with us. For whatever journey God may be leading you through right now I pray for you to have the faith and the trust to know that He loves you more than you can imagine and He will lead you to the promised land. He is leading you to a place of blessing and abundance, but we can't take any shortcuts. We have to follow his leading.
Thank you God for loving us and leading us as a gentle shepherd. Help us to listen to your voice and follow you.
God Bless You,
Lisa
I now have the paperwork needed in order to get him an interview for a student visa; however, when I went on their website last night to make his appointment they were showing no appointments available. I am not sure what is going on, and I have sent an email to the consular at the embassy (although they are notoriously hard to get a hold of).
Please pray with us for an appointment to open up soon! We still need to purchase plane tickets for myself, Kelly Christinah, and Michael Jr. (Kelly & I were on separate tickets from the rest of the family because of our being delayed with the adoption process last year, we had to purchase round trip tickets from Africa to the US and back again. So, now we need new tickets to get to the US.) Please also pray for us to have the finances needed to purchase these tickets, for us to find low priced tickets, and to get home at the same time as the rest of the family.
As I pray about the visa Michael Jr. needs I am reminded a lot of my prayers at this same time last year. Last year we were praying and believing for God to help us finalize Kelly's adoption; similar to how we are praying, hoping, believing for Michael to get his visa. Posts like this one from last year when we were praying for God to make a way. I remember praying so many times, "God, can't we just have an answer now? Can't it just be finished so we can be settled in our hearts & know that it's done?" And now, again, I have those same prayers in my heart. I just want Michael's visa to be done & settled. But, at least for now, we are still in a journey to get there. God is leading, and we trust him, but I can't help calling from the backseat, "Are we there yet?"
Thank you for praying with us. For whatever journey God may be leading you through right now I pray for you to have the faith and the trust to know that He loves you more than you can imagine and He will lead you to the promised land. He is leading you to a place of blessing and abundance, but we can't take any shortcuts. We have to follow his leading.
Thank you God for loving us and leading us as a gentle shepherd. Help us to listen to your voice and follow you.
God Bless You,
Lisa
Monday, March 19, 2012
Prayers from a Mother's Heart
All day long my mind runs back to the prayer requests I have right now for my kids. Of course there are always many prayers on a mom's heart for her kids, the foremost being that their hearts be molded & shaped into the image of Christ. At this moment I also have many "here and now" prayer requests for my kids (of course for our whole family & ministry as you have read in my last post).
Our son, Michael, needs a visa to come with us to the USA when we leave on May 31st. We have found a private school that has accepted him to attend high school there next fall (praise God!) Now, it is a matter of getting the US Embassy here in Kigali to extend to him a visa so he can travel to the USA. This is not an easy thing (as you may know if you've been following our family's story for the last year). However, we serve a big God! And we know by faith that it is God's will for our family to be together.
The other day I was reading again in John 14 where Jesus said, "13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." I think the real meaning of what Jesus was saying has been lost, as "In Jesus Name" has been turned into the "in-Jesus-name-amen" requirement to end every prayer. Was Jesus saying that if we use those "magic words" then it will make our wishes come true? No!
I was having a hard time putting into words what my thoughts on this have been, so I found this explanation on the internet & will share it with you because it mostly sums it up: Praying in Jesus’ name means praying with His authority and asking God the Father to act upon our prayers because we come in the name of His Son, Jesus. Praying in Jesus' name means the same thing as praying according to the will of God, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15). Praying in Jesus’ name is praying for things that will honor and glorify Jesus.
Which brings me back to: we believe God wants our family to be together, so we when pray for our son Michael to get his visa to the USA we believe we are praying according to God's will and that He is going to answer. Michael has his visa interview this Thursday, March 22nd. Please pray for God to go before him, prepare the consular officer to receive him with favor, to believe him, and to grant him the visa to travel on the 31st of May. Pray also for Michael to have peace & know that God is in control & holds him in the palm of his hand.
Our daughter Kelly has submitted all her application paperwork for Washington State University- Vancouver campus. That is her first choice school, and her only application out right now. Please pray for God's will to be done and for him to direct her path to the blessings he has for her. Pray for her to have peace as well, and the faith to believe that God has GOOD things planned for her future & she can trust in Him.
KaLia has her heart set on homeschooling next fall, mostly because of her best girl friend who will be homeschooling then as well. I, on the other hand, do not think homeschooling is a good fit for her personality and does not encourage her to challenge herself enough. We have been praying together for God to direct our hearts as to where she should go to school. I have concerns about how she would do in public school socially, but private school seems out of the question (since we are already praying about how we will afford private school for Michael and praying that Kelly will receive plenty of financial aid for college). Please pray with us for our hearts (including KaLia's) to be directed in this issue.
Nate has been doing well in his Montessori school and I have been very pleased with the school. I like how they work with each child on an individual basis and help them to work at a pace that is manageable for them. I would love for Nate to be able to continue at a Montessori school in the US, but again this is financially out of the question. So, as we consider putting him back in public school, I am praying for him to be at the right school & in the right classroom where God wants him to be.
Besides the kids, Mike could also use prayer as he works very diligently on two things: getting Ten Talents registered in Rwanda & getting plans/etc. ready so development on the Acres of Hope can begin. Did you see the post on the TTI blog- very exciting opportunity & very exciting to see this property that God provided now being close to being developed.
Now you know what is going on, or in the works, with our family. I am believing God always for great things in all of our lives. "If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against us?" I used to shout that song in my car (thank you Chris Tomlin) when we were praying and believing for God to provide so we could get here to Rwanda, and I still believe it!
Thank you for believing with us.
God Bless You,
Lisa
Our son, Michael, needs a visa to come with us to the USA when we leave on May 31st. We have found a private school that has accepted him to attend high school there next fall (praise God!) Now, it is a matter of getting the US Embassy here in Kigali to extend to him a visa so he can travel to the USA. This is not an easy thing (as you may know if you've been following our family's story for the last year). However, we serve a big God! And we know by faith that it is God's will for our family to be together.
The other day I was reading again in John 14 where Jesus said, "13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." I think the real meaning of what Jesus was saying has been lost, as "In Jesus Name" has been turned into the "in-Jesus-name-amen" requirement to end every prayer. Was Jesus saying that if we use those "magic words" then it will make our wishes come true? No!
I was having a hard time putting into words what my thoughts on this have been, so I found this explanation on the internet & will share it with you because it mostly sums it up: Praying in Jesus’ name means praying with His authority and asking God the Father to act upon our prayers because we come in the name of His Son, Jesus. Praying in Jesus' name means the same thing as praying according to the will of God, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15). Praying in Jesus’ name is praying for things that will honor and glorify Jesus.
Which brings me back to: we believe God wants our family to be together, so we when pray for our son Michael to get his visa to the USA we believe we are praying according to God's will and that He is going to answer. Michael has his visa interview this Thursday, March 22nd. Please pray for God to go before him, prepare the consular officer to receive him with favor, to believe him, and to grant him the visa to travel on the 31st of May. Pray also for Michael to have peace & know that God is in control & holds him in the palm of his hand.
Our daughter Kelly has submitted all her application paperwork for Washington State University- Vancouver campus. That is her first choice school, and her only application out right now. Please pray for God's will to be done and for him to direct her path to the blessings he has for her. Pray for her to have peace as well, and the faith to believe that God has GOOD things planned for her future & she can trust in Him.
KaLia has her heart set on homeschooling next fall, mostly because of her best girl friend who will be homeschooling then as well. I, on the other hand, do not think homeschooling is a good fit for her personality and does not encourage her to challenge herself enough. We have been praying together for God to direct our hearts as to where she should go to school. I have concerns about how she would do in public school socially, but private school seems out of the question (since we are already praying about how we will afford private school for Michael and praying that Kelly will receive plenty of financial aid for college). Please pray with us for our hearts (including KaLia's) to be directed in this issue.
Nate has been doing well in his Montessori school and I have been very pleased with the school. I like how they work with each child on an individual basis and help them to work at a pace that is manageable for them. I would love for Nate to be able to continue at a Montessori school in the US, but again this is financially out of the question. So, as we consider putting him back in public school, I am praying for him to be at the right school & in the right classroom where God wants him to be.
Besides the kids, Mike could also use prayer as he works very diligently on two things: getting Ten Talents registered in Rwanda & getting plans/etc. ready so development on the Acres of Hope can begin. Did you see the post on the TTI blog- very exciting opportunity & very exciting to see this property that God provided now being close to being developed.
Now you know what is going on, or in the works, with our family. I am believing God always for great things in all of our lives. "If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against us?" I used to shout that song in my car (thank you Chris Tomlin) when we were praying and believing for God to provide so we could get here to Rwanda, and I still believe it!
Thank you for believing with us.
God Bless You,
Lisa
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Letting You Know...
Before I get to the point of this update, I want to preface it with some background (for those who may not be aware):
Mike first traveled to Rwanda in 2002, and it was at this time that he felt compelled by God to help the kids who were living on the streets of Kigali, the capital city of Rwanda. In 2003 we opened our first home for former street children. In 2004 Mike started bringing short term mission teams to Rwanda. In 2005 we opened the second home for former street children and created the non-profit organization Ten Talents International in order to give more structure for the work going on in Rwanda.. Both of the first two homes we had opened were being managed by a local charitable organization in Rwanda. In 2007 we started a third home, The Home of Innocence, and we decided we would maintain management of this home through TTI. We started a sponsorship program both for children in the home as well as for children who were at risk for ending up on the streets (those in extreme poverty) so they could attend school each day.
During these years Mike was continuing in his career as a professional carpenter, as well as managing the work of Ten Talents International. As the ministry continued to grow doing both of these things became increasingly more difficult and time consuming. Then, in the summer of 2007, Mike felt impressed by God that “now is the time”. God was saying: “Now is the time” to do as much as possible in the country of Rwanda, “Now is the time” to push the ministry forward, and “Now is the time” for Mike to quit his carpentry job to work full time for TTI. This meant a huge step of faith as he left behind a steady paycheck and believed by faith that God would provide for the needs of our family.
2007 family photo
We had spent many years ministering in Rwanda while at the same time we continued to live full time in the USA. Mike would travel twice per year to Rwanda, spending several weeks there at a time. In 2008 we decided to bring our family to Rwanda for a 3 month trip, and we did the same in 2009. Following those trips we felt that God was calling us to live full time in Rwanda, at least for a while. What God did was give us what I called a “two year plan”. We knew we would go to Rwanda for 9 ½ months, then come back for two months in the summer, and then return to Rwanda for another 9 ½ months (coinciding with the school year for our kids). When people asked, “What is the plan beyond that?” our honest response was, “We don’t know”. God gave us a two year plan, and we prayed to see Him bring it to fruition. It took many months for us to have the finances required to get our family to Rwanda, but God did miracles and in August of 2010 we came to live in Rwanda full time.
Fast forward to today, here we are in the beginning of 2012, just a few months away from the end of that “2 year plan” and many people are wondering, “What’s next?” We feel quite sure of the next step. After our term ends here on May 31st of this year, and we return to the USA, we will be once again based full time in the USA, as we were before. Mike will continue to make several trips a year to Rwanda to see first-hand how the ministry is progressing here, as well as to continue to lead mission teams (now done in partnership with All God’s Children International’s Embrace Missions teams). In fact, he will be leading a team in Rwanda this coming August.
TTI has 7 1/2 acres of property called the “Acres of Hope”that God blessed the ministry with back in 2007. We have been waiting for the finances to develop that property into additional resources for reaching more children and families: transitional homes for former street children, homes for local families that adopt orphans, training facilities, and more. We believe that this year God is going to provide so that the development of this property can move forward!
You may be wondering, “Who is going to be in charge of the ministry while you are gone?” God is already bringing together a team who will faithfully handle the work of the ministry in the times when we are not here, but we appreciate your prayers as we seek God’s wisdom in finalizing those details. Thankfully the internet and telephone enable us to maintain contact and, just as we did prior to living here, this will enable us to keep things running smoothly during the few months at a time when we are not in the country.
If you are wanting to know what has prompted this decision, apart from us believing that this is God’s leading right now, I can tell you that we have had to carefully weigh what the needs of our family are. Our oldest daughter, Kelly Christinah, is currently working on finishing her 12th grade studies via homeschool and has plans to attend college in the fall in the USA. Our oldest son, Michael, will hopefully soon be receiving a student visa which will enable him to complete his high school studies in the USA and then continue on to college there as well. Our younger daughter, KaLia, while enjoying the private school she has been attending here, is also ready to return to school in the USA. Our younger son, Nate, we believe will benefit from the additional resources and options that are available in the USA to assist him with some developmental delays that he has.
On a personal note from me, Lisa, I will be honest and tell you that living overseas, half a world away from family and friends, has been very difficult for me. I need to be closer to them. Mike & I could also use a break from the constant stress that comes from living in another culture as well as constantly being in demand for ministry (what could be called “need overload”).
The ministry of TTI will continue without a break or hitch, just as it did before we spent two years living in Rwanda full time. In fact, we expect the work we are doing in Rwanda to expand and to grow. Our calling is the same: that we work in Rwanda “until every child has a home”. It just means that our family is going to be based in the USA instead of in Rwanda. For how long will we be staying in the USA, and will we come back to live in Rwanda full time again at some point? Honestly, we don’t know. We are just following the path in front of us right now.
Our family would really appreciate your prayers during this time of transition. There are many things that we could be anxious about, if we allowed ourselves to be, and sometimes we do. There are still many decisions to be made, and provisions to be seen. We will continue to work full time for TTI and trust for God to provide for the financial needs of our family.
Thank you for being a part of what God is doing in Rwanda, as well as being a part of the miracles he has done on behalf of our family. If you have any questions that I did not answer in this article, please email me: LisaM@TenTalentsInt.org
God Bless You,
Lisa
Monday, December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas!
At a Bible study I went to early this month they had a time for sharing a testimony. As the ladies went around the circle sharing miracles God had done in their lives, I sat and thought, what should I share? And my mind settled on one thing: my complete family. I remembered back to when I was a newly married 20 year old, and I have a specific memory of being at my job daydreaming about having kids, and the plans I had. I knew I wanted 4 kids, 2 close together, and then a space, and then another 2 close together. Now, here we are, 20 years later, and my family is finally complete. It was a long road between there and where we are now. It was not always easy (struggles with infertility, adoption, international details), and by saying that I mean to say sometimes it was really hard! But now I sit here with my perfect family that I love so much and I am so grateful. So thankful. God has been so good.
We would also appreciate your continued prayers for God's provision as we have tuition payments coming due next month for all of the kids schools (including homeschool classes) as well as rent payments. We are believing God will take care of every need we have, both personally and in the ministry. We serve a good God!
When the kids go back to school after Christmas break Nate is finally going to be extending his hours at school so that he will be attending all morning & for lunch so that he stays until 12:30 each day. He has been having good days at school for the vast majority of the time (not as many melt downs or acting out) and we have noticed an improvement in his speaking at home the last few weeks as well (using bigger words and more complex sentences).
KaLia was in a play through her afterschool drama class and did a great job in her part of "The Best Christmas Pagaent Ever". (Based on the humorous kid's book.) It was funny and fun to watch. She will be joining the band program at school after Christmas break and working on her flute skills.
Kelly is getting ready to start her 12th grade classes in homeschooling. She dreams of attending WSU in Vancouver in the fall of 2012. She still has some work to do to get there, and we hope to find financial aid as well!
Mike is busy with teams and ministry administration. I am busy with homeschooling and being the mom, and helping with the ministry as needed.
Thank you for praying for all of our family. My heart is thankful for our family and the love in this family. I feel very satisfied. I am missing all of our extended family and friends, and the conveniences of the USA, but our God is faithful to give us all that we need right where we are now, and the grace to do all that he has called us to do.
I hope your Christmas was full of love & memories to treasure.
God Bless You,
Lisa
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Oh Lord Give Me Patience...
We had our meeting with the psychologist and she observed Nate at school two days last week. Interestingly enough he had good days at school all last week! She is going to start working with him though for two days a week & for now her goal will be to help him with expanding his attention span.
This post is something I wrote in March of this year, but never finished it or published it. I was just thinking about it & thought I would post it now.
The other day I overheard a conversation which actually irritated me. Honestly I wanted to say, "That's so stupid!" Well, I didn't really want to say that out loud, but that's what I was thinking. Now maybe you've heard this kind of conversation before, and maybe you've even been the one saying these kind of things. If that's the case, I'm not saying you, or anyone else is stupid, understand me please. What I am saying is that although this kind of logic may seem to make sense on the surface, if you really think about it, it is completely nonsensical.
Now, you're really curious, you want to know, what were they saying? The conversation caught my ear when someone said something like, "oh, no don't pray for patience!" I've heard people say that before. They will talk about how they or someone else they know was praying for patience & then it seemed like all hell broke loose in their lives. In this conversation the example given was of a young woman who had 2 babies that were 14 months apart, and her response was, "Well, I was praying for patience!" The conversation continued and one of the ladies chimed in, "I always tell people, don't pray for patience, pray for peace!" You could tell she was quite proud of this heavenly "loophole" she had found, as she repeated it again later.
Why does this type of conversation bug me so much? I think one reason is the implication it makes about the kind of God that we serve. The connotation to "don't pray for patience" is that if we pray & ask God to give us patience it's like he says, "Oh! You want patience do you? Well, here you go try these trials on for size!" Like our God takes pleasure in bringing difficulties our way. If we pray for patience then he dumps on us, but if we pray for peace, oh then he just calms everything down & makes life quiet. That somehow if we make sure to NEVER utter a prayer for God to give us patience then we can make it through life with less problems. That prayer for patience is like hitting the wrong button, the one that makes the floor drop out from underneath you. That's just not how prayer, or our spiritual life, or our God are! It is a warped and wrong view of all of the above.
Something else brought in as "proof" in the above conversation was one woman said, "That's right, because 'tribulation worketh patience'". She was quoting from Romans 5:3 (King James version, NIV uses the word perseverance in place of patience) and the logic there being that if you pray for patience you are in actuality asking God for tribulation (trials, hard times). First of all, let's look at that scripture in context. Romans 5:1-3 says,
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Did you catch that? The writer tells us that we "glory" in sufferings, because we know they produce perseverance, which leads to character, which leads to hope! Without sufferings we do not learn to persevere, and without perseverance we do not develop character, and without character we do not know the basis & reality of our hope. So, if you want to be a quitting, character-less, hope-less Christian then, yes, please don't pray for patience!
Let's think about the "fruits of the Spirit" as they are referred to in the Bible. They are called this because they are the evidences (fruits) that should be seen in the life of someone who has the Spirit of God. What are they? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. Shouldn't all of these be attributes that we desire to see more of in our lives? Don't others need to "eat" of this good "fruit" so they will benefit as well? We need the fruit of the spirit in our lives not only for our benefit but also for the benefit and nourishment of others. I believe that if the Spirit of God lives in us we do not need so much to work to produce these fruits as to get ourselves out of the way & allow more of God to shine through us. If you want patience (and I believe you should) as well as peace, love, joy, and all the rest, then what you need to do is cultivate the Spirit of God more in your life. Focus more on Him, through worship, through prayer, through reading His word, through meditating on his goodness, through declaring his character & ways. Then when those trials do come (and they will, no matter if you pray for patience or not) it will be a matter of further refining God's character within you, not starting from nothing!
What do you think? Have you thought this same way? What are your thoughts about "praying for patience"? Is it somewhat like the comment, "Don't tell God, 'I'll never' [go to Africa] because that's right where he'll send you..." oh, but that is a discussion for another day! :)
God Bless You,
Lisa
This post is something I wrote in March of this year, but never finished it or published it. I was just thinking about it & thought I would post it now.
The other day I overheard a conversation which actually irritated me. Honestly I wanted to say, "That's so stupid!" Well, I didn't really want to say that out loud, but that's what I was thinking. Now maybe you've heard this kind of conversation before, and maybe you've even been the one saying these kind of things. If that's the case, I'm not saying you, or anyone else is stupid, understand me please. What I am saying is that although this kind of logic may seem to make sense on the surface, if you really think about it, it is completely nonsensical.
Now, you're really curious, you want to know, what were they saying? The conversation caught my ear when someone said something like, "oh, no don't pray for patience!" I've heard people say that before. They will talk about how they or someone else they know was praying for patience & then it seemed like all hell broke loose in their lives. In this conversation the example given was of a young woman who had 2 babies that were 14 months apart, and her response was, "Well, I was praying for patience!" The conversation continued and one of the ladies chimed in, "I always tell people, don't pray for patience, pray for peace!" You could tell she was quite proud of this heavenly "loophole" she had found, as she repeated it again later.
Why does this type of conversation bug me so much? I think one reason is the implication it makes about the kind of God that we serve. The connotation to "don't pray for patience" is that if we pray & ask God to give us patience it's like he says, "Oh! You want patience do you? Well, here you go try these trials on for size!" Like our God takes pleasure in bringing difficulties our way. If we pray for patience then he dumps on us, but if we pray for peace, oh then he just calms everything down & makes life quiet. That somehow if we make sure to NEVER utter a prayer for God to give us patience then we can make it through life with less problems. That prayer for patience is like hitting the wrong button, the one that makes the floor drop out from underneath you. That's just not how prayer, or our spiritual life, or our God are! It is a warped and wrong view of all of the above.
Something else brought in as "proof" in the above conversation was one woman said, "That's right, because 'tribulation worketh patience'". She was quoting from Romans 5:3 (King James version, NIV uses the word perseverance in place of patience) and the logic there being that if you pray for patience you are in actuality asking God for tribulation (trials, hard times). First of all, let's look at that scripture in context. Romans 5:1-3 says,
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Did you catch that? The writer tells us that we "glory" in sufferings, because we know they produce perseverance, which leads to character, which leads to hope! Without sufferings we do not learn to persevere, and without perseverance we do not develop character, and without character we do not know the basis & reality of our hope. So, if you want to be a quitting, character-less, hope-less Christian then, yes, please don't pray for patience!
Let's think about the "fruits of the Spirit" as they are referred to in the Bible. They are called this because they are the evidences (fruits) that should be seen in the life of someone who has the Spirit of God. What are they? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. Shouldn't all of these be attributes that we desire to see more of in our lives? Don't others need to "eat" of this good "fruit" so they will benefit as well? We need the fruit of the spirit in our lives not only for our benefit but also for the benefit and nourishment of others. I believe that if the Spirit of God lives in us we do not need so much to work to produce these fruits as to get ourselves out of the way & allow more of God to shine through us. If you want patience (and I believe you should) as well as peace, love, joy, and all the rest, then what you need to do is cultivate the Spirit of God more in your life. Focus more on Him, through worship, through prayer, through reading His word, through meditating on his goodness, through declaring his character & ways. Then when those trials do come (and they will, no matter if you pray for patience or not) it will be a matter of further refining God's character within you, not starting from nothing!
What do you think? Have you thought this same way? What are your thoughts about "praying for patience"? Is it somewhat like the comment, "Don't tell God, 'I'll never' [go to Africa] because that's right where he'll send you..." oh, but that is a discussion for another day! :)
God Bless You,
Lisa
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The One
I wrote the post below several weeks ago but had not published it yet. It seemed appropriate to post today as I am struggling with some issues Nate is having at school. The teacher/director says academically Nate is doing great; however, he continues to struggle daily with emotional & social issues at school. Having some kind of frustration/melt down is happening each day per the teacher's report. Today she told me the last two days Nate has been "exceptionally challenging" culminating with him hitting three different children at school today. She asked me to keep him home from school tomorrow, and then tomorrow afternoon we are already scheduled to meet together with the teacher and a psychologist. This psychologist is someone that the teacher has put us in contact with, and the reason for us meeting together is the hope that she will be able to give us some ideas/strategies/therapies we can use to help Nate. I am a little unsure about this meeting, concerned about if they are going to want us to have therapy sessions with Nate, thus incurring expenses for our family. Please keep us in your prayers. We need wisdom on how to help Nate.
I have some thoughts on my mind, prompted by parenting Nate, that I want to share. Maybe this is therapy for me and of no use to you, but I feel it may be beneficial to someone. Let me talk about being "the one". If we are at a gathering or meeting, my son will be "the one" who is wandering around, not sitting still, causing disruptions and distractions. If we are at church he will be "the one" who is talking out loud and trying to sneak out, or else climbing all over me. If we are the store he is "the one" who disappears in the blink of an eye and I have to track him down in another corner of the store. If we are at a friends house he is "the one" who is picking up things that he shouldn't or going in rooms where he doesn't belong.
And I feel like I am "the one" parent that everyone is looking down upon and judging. I'm "the one" people are thinking that I can't control/parent/discipline my child. I get really tired of being "the one". A long, long time ago, before I had kids, I was one of the observers/judges. After I had kids, and especially after having Nate, I no longer judge.
But I judge myself with much of the same measure that I'm sure people use against me. Does he behave like this because I allow him to, or is this behavior part of him and I need to work with him? Does he move around incessantly and talk at inappropriate times because I've allowed him to, or, despite all my best efforts, is this part of who he is & to try to force him to be something else is futile? Does he climb on me & lay on me during church, like a small child, because I've coddled him & allowed him to be "babyish" or is this something that he needs and helps him to feel comfortable? When he runs around wild and rolls on the grass play fighting with another boy after church, am I allowing rough & inappropriate behavior, or is this rough & tumble play something that his body needs? Am I "the one" who is to blame for the troubles he has with fitting into society's expectations?
I will be the first to admit I am not a parenting expert. I knew that as soon as I started parenting! I have started reading a book right now called "Sacred Parenting" by . The author's main point is that parenting teaches us and shapes just as much as our parenting shapes our children. In the chapter titled "The Golden Guilt" he makes a very valid point: "Parents take way too much credit for their children's successes and hold way too much blame for their children's failures." I am sure that I am guilty (!) of both!
I still have a lot to learn and understand about parenting, as well as about Nate. I will admit that I lean more towards "this is who he is, this is what he needs to be" and to try to accommodate him without disrupting other people's lives or expectations too much. I thank God that we seemed to have found a school where Nate can learn and grow but also have some freedoms to move around and be who he is, within reason.
We know that Nate is a gift from God. Even his name, impressed upon us before he was born, says so. This same truth has been reconfirmed through others since his birth. He is a source of joy & I know that God has a very special calling & plan for his life. Many times I feel unqualified & unequipped to parent him, but I know God has chosen to entrust him to us. I can only believe that someday there is going to be breakthrough for Nate. Someday he will find balance & he will become all that God made him to be.
Thanks for your love & prayers for our family.
God Bless You!
Lisa
I have some thoughts on my mind, prompted by parenting Nate, that I want to share. Maybe this is therapy for me and of no use to you, but I feel it may be beneficial to someone. Let me talk about being "the one". If we are at a gathering or meeting, my son will be "the one" who is wandering around, not sitting still, causing disruptions and distractions. If we are at church he will be "the one" who is talking out loud and trying to sneak out, or else climbing all over me. If we are the store he is "the one" who disappears in the blink of an eye and I have to track him down in another corner of the store. If we are at a friends house he is "the one" who is picking up things that he shouldn't or going in rooms where he doesn't belong.
And I feel like I am "the one" parent that everyone is looking down upon and judging. I'm "the one" people are thinking that I can't control/parent/discipline my child. I get really tired of being "the one". A long, long time ago, before I had kids, I was one of the observers/judges. After I had kids, and especially after having Nate, I no longer judge.
But I judge myself with much of the same measure that I'm sure people use against me. Does he behave like this because I allow him to, or is this behavior part of him and I need to work with him? Does he move around incessantly and talk at inappropriate times because I've allowed him to, or, despite all my best efforts, is this part of who he is & to try to force him to be something else is futile? Does he climb on me & lay on me during church, like a small child, because I've coddled him & allowed him to be "babyish" or is this something that he needs and helps him to feel comfortable? When he runs around wild and rolls on the grass play fighting with another boy after church, am I allowing rough & inappropriate behavior, or is this rough & tumble play something that his body needs? Am I "the one" who is to blame for the troubles he has with fitting into society's expectations?
I will be the first to admit I am not a parenting expert. I knew that as soon as I started parenting! I have started reading a book right now called "Sacred Parenting" by . The author's main point is that parenting teaches us and shapes just as much as our parenting shapes our children. In the chapter titled "The Golden Guilt" he makes a very valid point: "Parents take way too much credit for their children's successes and hold way too much blame for their children's failures." I am sure that I am guilty (!) of both!
I still have a lot to learn and understand about parenting, as well as about Nate. I will admit that I lean more towards "this is who he is, this is what he needs to be" and to try to accommodate him without disrupting other people's lives or expectations too much. I thank God that we seemed to have found a school where Nate can learn and grow but also have some freedoms to move around and be who he is, within reason.
We know that Nate is a gift from God. Even his name, impressed upon us before he was born, says so. This same truth has been reconfirmed through others since his birth. He is a source of joy & I know that God has a very special calling & plan for his life. Many times I feel unqualified & unequipped to parent him, but I know God has chosen to entrust him to us. I can only believe that someday there is going to be breakthrough for Nate. Someday he will find balance & he will become all that God made him to be.
Thanks for your love & prayers for our family.
God Bless You!
Lisa
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